Grace and peace to you from the mystery in whom we live and move and have our being. Do not doubt, but believe.
Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!”
John 20:19-31
Thomas was one of the disciples. He belonged to the tribe of Jesus followers.
Thomas had walked with Jesus. So, I don’t think he was doubting the claims of Jesus like many had before. He simply doubted that Jesus showed himself to the disciples in the flesh post death.
Doubting Thomas
He wasn’t the only one who ever doubted. In fact, other prominent biblical characters had fits of doubt as well. Even before Jesus walked the earth, other biblical greats doubted God. Yet, to this day, the disciple Thomas is tagged with the nickname “doubting Thomas.” A bit harsh don’t you think, considering this biblical history of key biblical figures and their stories of doubt?
Here are a few of them.
John the Baptist was in prison awaiting execution. In his moment of mental anguish, he asked two of the disciples to return home and ask Jesus if he was the real deal.
Yes, John the Baptist! The one who’d heard the thunder of God’s voice claiming Jesus is his beloved son. John the brave, non-conformist hipster, who was unafraid of being a desert wanderer and led many to be baptized. He even told others not to follow him, but to follow the one who would come after him. Jesus. Yet, when he was imprisoned, he doubted Jesus was the Messiah. But John was never tagged with the name “doubting John.”
Jesus’s family worried about his mental state. We could have nicknamed his family the “skeptical family.” But we didn’t.
Doubting Peter
Peter doubted when he walked on water. We could have referred to Peter as, “sinking Peter.”
In the Old Testament we could include Abraham, Sarah, Eve, Adam, Moses, David, and Elijah as famous doubters. Even Jesus himself doubted when he said, “my God, my God why have you forsaken me!
I guess you and I are in good company.
As a young man I was instructed that if I would believe and trust God, everything would be ok. To be honest, everything was rarely ok. Life often seemed unbearable. Losses can make it hard to believe trusting in God will make everything ok. I wanted so bad to believe this. I worked at trusting God. This caused shame with every doubtful moment.
Shouldn’t we trust God and believe after reading all the miracles written in the bible? It’s right there in black and red letter! Yet, here I was, doubting frequently.
There is this thinking that we shouldn’t doubt, and we shouldn’t tell Jesus when we do. This thinking assumes Jesus placed a very high value on being blindly persuaded. No wonder some evangelists can persuade an audience that doubt is the devil’s way of preventing them from going to heaven. Hey there’s an idea to raise money for our ministry! I would have a huge following. I’d say, “give a gift of only 39.99 and we will send you a limited-edition sports bottle with the inscription, “Doubter-Aide. Don’t think, just Drink.”
Portals to deeper encounters
I’m convinced doubting and questioning are portals to deeper encounters with God.
In church we always recited the apostle’s creed or the Nicene creed. If we would just manage our belief and recite the creeds then maybe the doubts would disappear. That’s not believing it’s ritualizing.
The creeds gave us a list of what to believe. Don’t doubt the divinity of Jesus. His virgin birth. His suffering. His death and resurrection. His return to earth. Hell. Heaven. Judgment. The list goes on.
But life’s realities seem to defy a demand for mindless recitation on such serious matters. This borders on foolishness does it not?
We already belong
Like Thomas we already belong. In a good family it safe to doubt, to question and to express feelings without losing membership. It is ok to desire intimacy and affirmation. Thomas was family.
Thomas already belonged, so why did John tell the story about his doubting? The author is very clear. John said he wrote these signs so the reader would be a believer. We were not there so now we’re expected to trust in a book of stories. Thomas was no different. Everybody watched Jesus enter through locked doors except Thomas. He wasn’t there that day. Can we blame Thomas for wanting proof that Jesus returned after such a painful death? For Thomas Perhaps the pain and grief were too great to give in to false hope.
Jesus did not appear to scold Thomas and make an example of his doubt. On the contrary, Jesus invited Thomas to experience him. Since we also have moments of doubt, maybe Spirit invites us to experience God rather than just to believe. Just like Thomas.
Place your hand in my side
“Place your hand in my side and look at my wounded hands,” he told Thomas. We too are invited into the fellowship of the Holy Spirit.
Jesus once rebuked a generation of those seeking signs and wonders rather than seeking first the kingdom of heaven and its righteousness. But Thomas wasn’t seeking a sign, he wanted to experience the risen Christ.
By appearing to Thomas, Jesus showed the disciples it was ok to question. That the deeper we question the more we will experience. You will be blessed however if you don’t let your doubt prevent you from coming to believe.
I know for me, I am still doubting, but I am always coming to believe. As I move in faith I question.
Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
It is translated in Greek, “don’t conform to another person’s pattern of believing!! Thomas refused to conform to the patterns of others believing and experience.
Do not doubt, but beleive
Romans says it is by the renewing of the mind that we transform. Renewed to what and by what? Maybe by being more like Thomas and desiring personal understanding of the love of Christ. In Philippians 3:10 Paul said he wanted to know Christ and the power of his resurrection. It all sounds like a journey of knowing. Questions and doubt must be a part of coming to believe.
If we do not experience doubt then we will not experience faith. Faith is not a lack of doubt or fear. Faith is a step taken in the face of great doubt and fear on our journey. In this, we will come to believe. Our mind will experience new things, and our brain will create new pathways (patterns) that are unique to our journey.
Faith is not a lack of doubt; it is action taken in the face of great doubt and fear.
Amen
I’m still thinking about selling those water bottles.
Wednesday Respite is a 30-min contemplative service of scripture, prayer, music and a Spirited Touchpoint by Henry Rojas, spiritual director at Spirit in the Desert.
Touchpoint is a reflection on where God’s story touches our life story. It is a short homily based on a biblical story of people in the Old and New Testaments and their relationship with God. Our spiritual ancestors’ experience of God’s grace connects with our lives in the present and our relationship with the Divine. Previous Touchpoints are available as PDFs or on SoundCloud.
0 Comments